The title of this post sounds so silly doesn’t it?!?! But in reality I do feel that this is a huge problem which can effect every single person… or at least has at some point in their life!
I know personally I have ran into the problem of trying to please others to the point that it has shattered my own happiness, to which caused me to lose myself and my fire from within. I feel like this issue can start at a young age when we may be forced upon which career to choose, taking over a family business whether you are interested in it or not, which sport they want you to stay in etc etc…. These issues don’t just stem from your parents (or may not at all these are just examples) but can also be with friends, family members, coaches, relationships and so on. Heck strangers can persuade you to live a life that you don’t want to either just so you can fit inside the “normal” category.
I’ve always been one to study human behaviour and to think of reasons why someone would want to be the navigator in your life instead of letting you do it! We are all born individually, with our own identities, traits, wants, needs, talents and ambitions. We are capable of doing anything that we put our minds to… so why would someone who is entirely different from our individual self want to navigate us? These are my theories:
- They want to live through you- they want you to live the life that they may have wanted but never took that route. So they want their visions to be played through by you. Completely unfair… everyone has their own choices to make in life. If you are unhappy with a career, change it. If you feel like you live a boring life get out into the world and make life happen!
2. Jealousy- They don’t want you to live a better life then them so they may convince you that you are not good enough or that the decisions you are making are stupid. This is just sad when I see this…. you should never hold someone back from living up to their full potential… that’s almost cheating them out of their own life.
3. Keeping you in a plastic bubble- They may feel like they are protecting you so that you do not make some of the same mistakes that they have made in the past….. but what is happening is more harmful than good. We learn and thrive from our mistakes. If we never made mistakes we would never learn essential tools to get through life with our own problem solving skills.
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Now on the other hand there are times that we cause this issue for ourselves. We may be programmed to not think for our own self, to not follow what we want in life but instead follow what everyone else is doing just because it seems normal. How many people do you see absolutely miserable in their jobs or lives? Did they choose them? Or did they settle with them?
I have made an oath to myself ever since I got super sick but honestly I was stubborn before I got sick when I would receive suggestions on how to live my life. I will not let someone control my decisions in life as they are my own and if they don’t pan out as I thought they would, then I suffer the consequences, learn from the experience and maybe find something even better! I’m the type of person that believes in “Energy” from the universe.. Why? Because I’ve seen it happen first hand. Every amazing experience that I have had didn’t happen by accident and I did have a choice in the matter. Now if I would have turned down an opportunity just because somebody else said it’s stupid or that it’s not something that they would do, I would have never ever experienced some of the magical opportunities that have been presented to me……… Cheerleading for a CFL team, competing in pageants, jobs, friends, trips and all sorts of memories.
Now I don’t want people to take this the wrong way because listening to others and their experiences are a part of navigating through life. But when you take opinions, take them with a grain of salt but in the end you are the one that should be making your life choices not them.
Do you feel like you have lost who you are? Are you unhappy? If so here are some tips and tricks to find yourself again and live a life that you deserve…. a life that was customized for you… and you only.
1) Find your passion and ignite your inner fire. I am a very creative person so when I do things such a writing in my blog, taking pictures, acting and dancing I come alive! It gives me not only a purpose but one that I love!!!!!! If you aren’t a creative person then you may have a passion for playing sports, if not athletic than watching sports! You can turn almost anything into a passion if it’s what makes you excited to get up in the morning.
2) Have your own life outside of your family, friendships and relationships. It is so important to keep a balance and it’s ok to spend time with other people. It’s what helps you keep your own identity and happiness.
3) Find time for yourself. You don’t need to say yes to everything just because. Give yourself some much needed me time. It gives you time to reflect, visualize and dream.
4) Don’t conform into what society wants you to be. If you want to wear bright yellow do it! If you wanna dress up when everyone else is dressing down Own it! If you wanna own your own business instead of work under someone go get it!!! Not have kids? You aren’t forced to. Adopt? You’re giving another life a chance. There are so many reasons for you to be individually you!!!!!!!
5) It’s never to late to start over. Tomorrow is always a new day to make changes. Yeah it may take some work or research or just getting you out of your boring pattern of a life to get going. But I promise it will be worth it.
6) Ignore the “naysayers” and surround yourself with people that support you with your decision to be happy.
I’m so grateful for everything that has happened in my life because something good has always come from them. Don’t let anyone try and tell you to be somebody that you aren’t just so you fall to their comfort level. You were born to shine!!! So shine baby shine🤗
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