To the woman who made me and who also saved me…..

A mother has a tough job right from the beginning, they spend hours in agonizing labour or are sent through major surgery to bring us into this world. They give up on sleep, alone time, nights out and lots of times their sanity. Mothers wear so many hats within the household… They are a nurse, a councillor, referee, teacher, chef, caretaker and the glue that holds the household together.

My mom has been a stay at home mom for my whole life. She’s been on every field trip, every audition, every gymnastics competition, literally any special event in my life she has not only showed up, but has been my biggest cheerleader and support system, celebrating my highs and getting me through my lows. This woman that I am so proud to call mom seems to amaze me every day with her selflessness and the fact that she would do absolutely anything for her kids. I am so thankful for the amazing childhood that she gave me, always encouraging me but never forcing me do anything that I didn’t want to do.

Six or seven years ago was when life completely changed for the both of us. When you reach your 20’s usually it’s time for your mom to catch a break…. You’ve spread your wings, learnt to fly and depend less on your mother. That’s not the case for us. My early 20’s is when my health issues had begun. My body started doing crazy things, wasn’t able to do the things that I used to and was highly dependable on my mom. She has drove me to every single dr appointment (there’s been hundreds), sat through every emergency visit (sometimes 4 times a month, for years), slept with me every single night for a whole year because I wasn’t sure if I would wake up again. There was a point I was so weak that she would have to bathe me, brush my hair and help me with simple tasks such as walking down the hall. She literally gave up her own life for years to help me get through mine. My mom had to give up on events, activities, miss trips and basically had no time for herself because she was busy keeping me going. When I was given a super strict diet she took it upon herself to cook extremely healthy but also tried every way to make it taste delicious.

It breaks my heart to know how much of a burden that I put on her and probably her own health. Her life literally consisted of cooking specialized meals for me, driving me to dr appointments, specialist appointments, chiro, acupuncture, naturopath appointments and anywhere else I needed to go. She cleaned up after me because I couldn’t, tried anything to put a smile on my face, wiped away my tears daily and gave me the hope that I needed to keep going……..

Things got extremely scary at times but she was my rock that held it together when I couldn’t. One horrible morning I remember waking up literally feeling like death, I thought that it could be one of my last days on this beautiful planet (not exaggerating one bit). I went into my moms bedroom and literally broke down. “Mom I’m dying, I can’t do this anymore and I’m so scared”. She broke down crying in fear and held me as my dad got the car ready to head to emerg. That is seriously one of the most horrible and scary moments that I’m sure we have both been through in our lives. The thing is her arms were the one thing that gave me the courage, strength and peace to make it through another day. We’ve grown so close… some may say un separable through this whole journey. If it wasn’t for my mom I wouldn’t have made it through those scary years, and I don’t know if I would have wanted to. That one person who refused to give up on me, who always believed me, and has been my best friend through it all.

Mom, thank you for absolutely everything that you have done for me. I wish that I could give you back all that you have missed because of me. Give you back the years that you’ve spent cooped up on the couch beside me, all of the sleepless nights checking my pulse and holding my hand. Thank you for giving me hope and the strength to carry on. I love you more than anything and hope you know how incredible of a human being you are and that I couldn’t be more proud to be your daughter and your best friend. Thank you for being with me through it all. Mom you saved me ❤️ I’m happy we get to live the rest of this thing we call life with the bond that we have. I love you so freaking much ❤️

Happy Mothers Day

Love crystal

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