Through childhood I was brought up going to a Catholic Church…… I did the whole Sunday school thing (but on Saturdays instead). I always found church kind of creepy but would quite often bow my head, give thanks for what I have, ask for guidance when needed or ask to send a message to loved ones that I had lost.
I think at the time I did it because we were taught to more so than doing it because I thought that it would actually make things happen or make a difference in my life. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the hardest time of my life being extremely ill for years, not receiving answers and feeling that I lost all hope that I really truly believed that there is some sort of higher power out there… Whether you want to call it God, guardian angels or just signs from the universe that is totally up to you!
When your life is turned upside down and not even the people such as Drs can give you the answers that you need to feel better what do you do besides cry and cry and cry some more. A lot of people turn to faith and prayer to help them through the toughest parts of their life….. Instead of speaking to God I chose to reach out to someone that knew me, who loved me and who was no longer with us but looking down over us and watching all of this chaos happen.
This was my uncle Norman. He was taken far too early, had an absolute heart of gold and would always be there to guide his nieces and nephews with crazy pep talks when he was alive….. I knew that he would be the perfect person to ask for some guidance through this journey that I called hell. I knew that he would be stubborn enough to pull some strings with the big guy to help guide me and help me any way that he could. Did I expect him to fix me?! No not at all…… but just some help was all I needed to keep pushing forward.
It was probably 3 years into my mystery illness that I started to bow my head before bed and ask my uncle to help guide me any way that he could. I was trying everything, playing jeopardy with the fact that it could help me or hurt me…. All kinds of supplements, naturopath, different tests, functional medicine specialist, acupuncture, different specialists……..you name it I tried it. Some things made me worse, some things may have helped a bit. I was so frustrated and overwhelmed with this whole guessing game… What to do next and what to stop doing. This is where it gets very interesting.
I started to see a specific number over and over again….. Not only that, I noticed I would see it when my health would turn for the worse or right before I would be taken away by an ambulance. It was the number 911….. this gives me chills just thinking about it. At the beginning I thought it was maybe just coincidence, that I was paying too much attention to the clock. I started to realize there had to be more to it because it was showing up on license plates and mail boxes…. you name it. I had such a fear of that number because I knew that something bad was about to happen and it meant that I was on the wrong path, that I needed to change a certain thing in my life to get back on the right path. This could be stopping a certain supplement, that I needed to look for another Dr, that the diagnosis that they gave me was wrong….”911″ meant that something needed to change and that I had to take action with the signs being given to me…. I would literally break down crying to my mom that I saw “the number” again knowing fully that things were going through a downward spiral once again.
I did follow those signs…. I would push for other doctors, other tests etc etc. My uncle was telling me not to give up and as much as I wanted to because existing was exhausting and terrifying. I started to see another number whenever good things would happen or on days that I felt better. It was the number 11:11. I actually looked up what that number means and it means “to be on the right path”. As soon as I read that I cried… this time is wasn’t sad frightened tears, it was tears of comfort and hope. I knew that my uncle had heard my cries of help and has been holding my hand the whole time. I had my very own guardian angel.
As I have reached the better side of my journey and running into the right Dr by chance and getting on some proper medications to end my suffering the number 11:11 has become more prominent……. to the point that I see it at least once a day and can’t help but crack a smile, make a wish and thank my uncle for having my back……. In these past few years I have been to two psychics, two people that were supposed to know nothing about me but helped me confirm everything I had been experiencing. I only told them my first name…. She went on to tell me about a family member that had passed before his time… one that would refer to me as “his party girl”, which my uncle always called me. She insisted that he is able to connect with me and to watch the signs. When I see him in my dreams, he is fully there. I couldn’t believe what I heard, I have never had such a comfort come over my body then basically confirming that I have my own guardian angel watching over me at all times.
If you still don’t believe in angels, a higher power or signs from the universe.. that’s okay. Just always keep your mind open, you never know when you will need one or when you may just have your very own experience with an angel.