Breaking up with Toxic Friendships

I’m sure we have all dealt with a friendship or two, that has been detrimental to our own life and wellbeing. The problem is that we may put up with them for too long out of the kindness of our own hearts. Should we feel guilty for cutting out these so called “friends” from our lives? I think not….

What does a toxic friendship look like?

Those who spread negativity- Everything that comes out of their mouth is negative… Complaining about this and that to the point that it’s not even a conversation anymore, it’s you sitting there becoming a punching bag for all of their negative emotions. The problem is they drain you until your tank is empty and you do not have the energy for yourself. Stay away from these people…… they love and feed of negativity and drama.

Those who try to criticize you all of the time- “Why do you wear so much makeup”, “why are you wearing that we are only going shopping”. I understand constructive criticism and people that actually want to help you and your growth and development in life, but criticizing you on silly things that make a person who they are is just toxic… who cares if they want to dress up a bit more, maybe they like fashion. Stick with empowering people and the ones that love you for you!!

Those that waste your time- Time is your most valuable possession, we can’t get it back and we never have enough of it. If you have someone that is constantly not respecting you by showing up hours later without good reason, when you could have done something else with your time… is that really fair? I understand people have their moments and trust me I am one of them but usually it’s my condition that can cause me to be tardy and trust me I feel like a horrible person for it.

Those who are jealous- They truly do not want you to succeed in life or do better than they are. “Pay close attention to the people that don’t clap when you win”. We are all in this crazy life together so why not support and empower each other instead of making it a competition. Those that are consumed with jealousy usually have their own self confidence issues… so really it has nothing to do with you. Instead they should be working on improving their own self confidence, not wasting time breaking others down.

Those who use and abuse you- Don’t you just love it when people come around only when they need something? Come on…. it’s super obvious. I haven’t spoken to you in six months and yet here you are wanting to borrow an outfit or talk about a boyfriend that just broke up with you for the 15th time, that I know that you are going to ignore everything that I say and run back to him and not hear from you for another 6 months. It’s really not fun to be used……and when it starts becoming a pattern don’t be surprised if people start to ignore your messages.

Those who play the victim- They make you feel guilty for hanging out with other people or wanting to experience different things. They will literally pull guilt trip and make you feel like a horrible person just for being normal. No one owns you, remember you are entitled to have more than one friend….. you are not a horrible person, even if they make you feel that you are.

One sided friendships– They never check in on you, it’s always about their day or what they’ve been up to. Everything is usually all about them and what they want to do. How is that even fun? If you feel like you are constantly in the back seat I think it’s time to analyze your worth and if you deserve this treatment. Friendship is a two sided relationship…. and it should always be that way, otherwise it’s time to let go.

Friendships will always have their ups and downs. They won’t always be sunshine and roses and yes there will be times when you need to help each other through some of the hard times. That’s just it though, friendships are there to help each other grow, to want the best for each other, to celebrate the good and to pull through the bad. You are both on the same level, no need for jealousy or hatred, life is too short to be anything but happy. And a good friend to experience life with just makes it that much better. Friendship isn’t counted in numbers it’s counted by quality. I’d rather have one amazing friend than 10 let’s just call them “acquaintances”.

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